I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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