Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
