Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
