Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
So many bounce houses so little time
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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