i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
