on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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