I'm going to jail i love you
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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