so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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