Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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