how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I want her autograph on my taint
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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