No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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