you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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