is your mom at the bar?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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