he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
