He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize