i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize