How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
