HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
