Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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