If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
