My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
