Betty ford says i'm here all night
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm at about main and main street
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
