when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
