guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
