We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
