If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This baby is an asshole
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
