dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
