He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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