He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
