He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
