Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The power of my boobs compel you
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