Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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