Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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