farters have to be the big spoon...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
