Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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