Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
