remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
