My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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