New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
