Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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