If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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