i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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