Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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