one two three fourrrrnication!
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize