how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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