Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
