Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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