I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
