i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
