It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I deserve this hangover.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
