nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
