i think my mom watched the whole time
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think a kid would responsible me up
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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