so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
True strength comes from lack of pants
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
