I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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