The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
