I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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