Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
