dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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