i don't like sucking hair
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
