But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize