we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
