As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
