I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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